Anti Pick Up Lines

 

• Excuse me, do you have a pen?Then you’d better get back to it before the farmer notices you’re gone.
• Woah!You look like I need a drink.
• What’s a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?
• Ask me if I’m a tree. Are you a tree? No.
• I’d like to get you wet.At least long enough to get you back to the ocean.
• I can tell what a woman drinks just by looking at her, and for you it’s a diet coke.
• Your name must be trigonometry, because you make me want to cry.
• Are there people following you?Because I’m seeing someone behind your back.
• How much does a Polar Bear weigh?I don’t know.About ten pounds less than you, fat-ass.
• Your name must be Calculus Homework, because I have no interest in doing you.
• Has a guy ever walked up to you just to tell you how beautiful you are?They must have been much drunker than I am.
• Hey girl, are you a broom?Why, because I swept you off your feet?No, because you’re really hairy.
• Are you from Tennessee?Because you look inbred.
• Are you a banker?Because you need to leave me a loan.
• My fridge is hotter than you.
• From the moment I saw you, I knew I would be spending the rest of my life trying to avoid you.
• When I see your face there’s not a thing that I would change.Except the direction I’m walking in.
• Camel called.He wants his toe back.
• Do you like wine?Because that’s all your doing.
• Girl, I know your wearing Nike, but I just won’t do it.
• Do you know Santa?Because you’re not what I wanted for Christmas.
• Are you a computer technician?Because you turn my hardware into software.

Responsive Anti Pick Up Lines

• Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?Because it looks like you landed on your face.
• Are you the sun?Because you should stay 93 million miles away from me.
• Are you a fortune cookie?Because you’re always wrong.
• Are you a computer technician?
  Because you turn my hardware into software.
• Are you a dementor? Because you take my breath away.
• Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.
• Are you an erection? Because you’re growing on me.
• Are you an ornithologist?… because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.
• Are you free anytime soon?
  No. I’m very expensive
• Are you from subway because you giving me a foot long
• Are you from tennessee? Because it looks like your missing some teeth.
• Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.
• Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.
• Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kick in’!
  I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?
• Baby, I love every muscle in your body… Especially mine.
• BOY: I love you
  GIRL: (sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit
• Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i’ll put U and I next to each other
  Girl: It’s already together dumbass
• Can I buy you a drink?
• Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!